Hey guys, if you are looking for ways to last longer during sex then you have landed on the right post as I have created the most comprehensive guide for you. It includes the most effective techniques, exercises, and tips that will help you increase stamina.
The best part? I will show you how to fuck for a long time. Trust me.
I have used these tips to get rid of my premature ejaculation issue.
But before I am going to share with you this guide, I have to tell you that regaining control over your orgasms will take some time and training. If you are serious about this change, then expect it to be a marathon and not a sprint.
Luckily there is a lot of things you can try to last longer in bed.
Try Thick Or Numbing Condoms
Guys who ejaculate sooner than they wish have usually a problem with processing sensations from their penis and its direct stimulation. This is often an issue among sexually inexperienced guys.
So the easiest way to help you to last longer is to reduce these sensations. You can do this simply by putting on a condom.
The thicker your condom is, the fewer sensations you will feel. An added bonus is that you are protected from many sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
If you are looking for thicker condoms, you can choose these:
- Extra Strength by Lifestyles (0.09 mm thick)
- Extra Safe by EXS (0.083 mm thick)
- Ultra Ribbed by Lifestyles (0.078 mm thick)
Actually, anything that says Extra Safe or Extra Strong is much thicker than regular condoms. Some men say that a thicker condom works wonders and that they are able to last 2-3 times longer during sex.
However, sometimes guys need a little more help than a thick condom. If this one does not fix your issue, you can try a rubber that is coated with a numbing lotion (with active benzocaine as an active substance).
There are several options to choose from, like:
- Performax Intense by Durex (5% benzocaine)
- Prolong by Durex (5% benzocaine)
- Extended Pleasure by Trojan (4% benzocaine)
These desensitizing condoms will make the skin on your penis numb so you will be able to last in bed for a very long time. However, in some cases, it may numb you so much that you may have an issue of maintaining an erection.
That is why I like thick condoms much more than those that will make you numb.
Control Your Pevic Floor Muscles
If you are that type of guy who hates wearing condoms during sex for whatever reason, then you should try to get control over your pelvic floor muscles as a first aid to delay your ejaculation.
There are three main muscles of the pelvic floor that are somehow related to the quality of erection and the timing of ejaculation: Bulbocavernosus (BC) muscle (is located around the bulb, or base, of the penis), Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle (stretches from your pubic bone to the bottom of your spine), and Ischiocavernosus (IC) muscle (sits right next to the BC muscle).
Locating The Correct Muscles
Before you learn to control these muscles you need to know how to locate these first. The easiest way to do so is on the toilet:
- Go there and start urinating.
- Once your urine stream is at its highest pressure try to stop its flow without using your hands.
- Do not forget to keep your abs, buttocks, and thigh muscles relaxed and do not hold your breath.
Do you feel the contractions right under the base of your penis and between your scrotum and anus? These are the muscles you are after.
Once you know where these muscles are, you can start to work them. The best exercises for the pelvic floor are Kegels (and reverse Kegels):
- Contract mainly the BC muscle (other muscles will contract as well).
- Hold it in that way for 5-10 seconds.
- Then release and let it rest for the same time.
- You should repeat these steps 10-20 times in one row, 3-4 times a day.
- You can gradually increase the number of repetitions as you will get more experienced.
It is best to find a good workout regime for your Kegel sessions that provides some variations of this exercise to ensure you are increasing the strength of your pelvic floor “squeeze”.
The main principle of strengthening these muscles is to keep them intentionally relaxed during sex (reverse Kegels) while performing a strong kegel “squeeze” right before the point of no return.
Focus On The Way You Breathe
Surprisingly, the time it takes until you ejaculate primarly depends on the way you breathe right before and during the sex. There are two main types of breathing:
- Breathing into your chest (your chest rises up while your belly flattens)
- Breathing through your belly (first your belly and then your chest rise)
The first type is more shallow while the second one is much deeper. As you may have already noticed during sex, fast shallow breathing usually correlates with ejaculation.
That is why you need to slow down and start breathing through your belly as soon as you notice that your arousal level rises rapidly.
Thanks to the following technique you will not only relax, and reduce the anxiety, but also delay your orgasm.
To breathe correctly, all you need is to follow these steps:
- Try to relax as much as you can and breathe deeply
- Inhale for five seconds into your belly
- Hold it in for three to five seconds
- Exhale for another five seconds
- Do this for five minutes before sex or during sex if needed
Focusing on the correct form of breathing will also redirect your attention from pleasure and will delay your ejaculation even more.
Experiment With Edging
Have you ever heard about edging? This term covers an old practice of learning to understand your orgasms and ways to intensify them.
People also refer to the practice of edging as “Start & Stop Technique”.
Both names are apt as you will be bringing yourself on the verge of orgasm but you stop right before you ejaculate. As you will train and master this technique, not only will you experience more intense and longer orgasms, you will also “reprogram” your body to last longer during sex.
This practice (after a lot of training) can lead to “dry orgasm”, one when you achieve climax without ejaculating.
Start & Stop Exercise
This technique is very easy to do but will take some time to master (especially in the case of severe premature ejaculation). Before you go through the instructions below, you should imagine your arousal level on the scale of 1-10, where 1 is almost no arousal while 10 is ejaculation.
Now, all you need to do is to follow these instructions:
- Have sex (or masturbate if you are just training)
- Go until you feel you are close to losing control over your arousal (this should be around level 8 on the arousal scale)
- At that time, take a little break
- Focus on pleasuring her during your “cooling down” period
- After your arousal level goes down to level 4-5, you can return to having sex (or masturbating)
- Repeat according to your and her needs (ideally 3-5 times)
This way, you are rewiring your brain to automatically prolong the time it takes you before you ejaculate. Not only that, by bringing yourself on the edge of climax multiple times in a row you will intensify your final orgasm.
Squeeze Your Buddy
Squeezing a special place under the head of your penis is one of the most common tricks to delay the urge to ejaculate.
Although this technique adds only a few minutes until you orgasm from a short-term perspective, as a part of a regular training routine “Squeezing” can have a significant impact on your overall sexual stamina.
All you have to do is to follow these instructions:
- Start having sex (or masturbating if you are just training)
- Continue until you feel over-aroused (numbers 7 – 8 on a scale where 9 is the point of no return and 10 is ejaculation)
- Once you begin to feel over-aroused pull out your penis (or stop masturbating)
- Gently squeeze right below the head of your penis
- Do not forget to apply a firm pressure of your thumb and forefinger on your urethra (a tube that runs along the underside of your shaft)
Squeezing that special spot will make your penis less sensitive for a while and will give you few minutes before you feel the urge to ejaculate. Begin with this technique as soon as possible to see the quickest results.
Fake It To Make It
Some guys suffer from premature ejaculation because they are afraid that they will not offer a great sexual experience for his partner. Such worries put you under a lot of stress and the anxiety will build up.
Once you are nervous, you are usually tense and have problems to relax.
As you have already discovered, as long as you can’t relax your body and your pelvic floor muscles during sex, the time that it takes until you ejaculate shortens drastically.
That is why you need to start the following mental exercise as soon as possible. You need to make yourself believe that you will be great during sex and will blow your load only when you decide to do so.
Here are some easy to follow instructions:
- Relax and take some time to concentrate
- Try to convince yourself to believe that the next time you are going to have sex you will have a much better stamina
- Visualize how your sex partner is clawing your back and climaxing sooner than you get to the point of no return
- Continue until you feel the surge of confidence build up inside of you
Although it may seem silly at first, this technique works wonders. You need to do this mental exercise daily until you achieve the desired effect. Never underestimate the power of a human mind.
Go For Less Stimulating Sexual Positions
If you want to last longer during sex then there are some positions you should try out. Usually, the more friction a position creates and the deeper it allows you to go, the sooner you ejaculate.
That is why you should aim at those that create a relatively shallow penetration and do not allow for fast sex and pounding.
My advice is to try these…
Experiment With Thrusting Patterns
Thrusting pattern and speed is something a lot of guys with ejaculation issues underestimate. Have you already noticed that a faster and deeper thrusting makes you cum quite soon?
That is why you need to master a correct thrusting rhythm. Actually, I have tried several already and these are the most efficient in delaying your ejaculation.
7 Shallow & 9 Deep
I love this rhythm as it allows you to enjoy a lot of shallow as well as deep thrusts. All you have to do is to:
- Do seven shallow thrusts (insert just a first 1/2 or first 2/3 of the length of your penis)
- One thrust is one in and out movement
- Do nine deep and slow thrusts (insert your whole length)
This rhythm allows you to really enjoy both types of thrust. Also, counting will redirect your attention from sex and pleasure.
This way, you will last even longer during sex.
The Magical 10
The “Magical 10” is a pattern that has the origin in ancient “sex guides” so it has been proven to work over centuries. Actually, it works wonders in distracting your mind from focusing on your arousal.
All you need to do is to follow these instructions:
- Do nine slow deep thrusts followed by one shallow
- Then continue with eight deep thrusts and two shallow
- Then you will do seven deep before doing three shallow and so on
- Once you reach one deep and nine shallow thrusts, you can continue to gradually increase the number of deep thrusts back to ten
- You should continue and adapt this rhythm according to your and your partner’s needs
Just keep in mind that focusing on the right thrusting pattern and pace may redirect your attention from actual sex and in this way reduce your arousal levels causing you to blow your load too soon.
However, your sexual partner may notice that you are getting more distant during sex.
Use A Cock Ring
As I have been doing my research on methods to last longer in bed, I have discovered some guys who claim that wearing a cock ring during sex have increased their stamina. Not only that, these “sex toys” also improve the quality and firmness of your erections.
It allegedly does so by compressing a special area surrounding the base of your penis. Some experts back this statement as they relate it to having a similar effect as a modified version of the squeeze technique.
There are many cock rings you can choose from. They vary according to the material used, their functions, and extra features. However, I highly recommend those especially dedicated to lasting longer during sex.
Take A Break
Another technique to last longer during sex that even famous male porn stars use is to take a break once you feel that you are getting too close to the point of no return. By taking a break I mean to interrupt the penetration and pull out.
Once you pull out, you can go down on her and eat her pussy for some time until you reduce your arousal level to a manageable point. To speed things up, you can apply the squeeze method to your penis.
If you do not need a lot of time to reduce your arousal level (just a few seconds), you can try to stop the penetration, pull out and just change the position into something different.
Try Numbing Sprays
If you are suffering from a severe case of premature ejaculation, then you may want to try some numbing lotions and sprays. These are based on the same principle as numbing condoms, to desensitize the skin on your penis.
There are two good brands I would choose from:
- Promescent (eutectic lidocaine formulation)
- Stud100 (lidocaine)
I highly recommend going for Promescent as its special eutectic formulation minimizes the risk of making your partner numb as well. However, go for numbing sprays and lotions only as a last resort because applying such a lotion in the heat of a moment may be a huge turn-off for some girls.
Also, some people apply too much of this substance and they may have an issue with maintaining an erection.
Retract Your Foreskin
There are some statements made by women on the internet that circumcised men usually do last longer during sex. Do not get me wrong, I am not trying to convince you to get circumcised.
But there is some logic behind this statement.
Guys who have foreskin tend to have much more sensitive skin on their glans as it is almost always protected from the friction in your pants. On the contrary, circumcised men have their glans unprotected and exposed to friction.
This leads (over some time) to a slightly thicker skin on your glans that is less sensitive. That is why you could try to wear retracted foreskin all day long. Just do not forget to retract it each and every time it goes back over your glans.
You can also follow this guide to fix it in place by a tape.
Let Technology Help You
If you can not achieve the desired effect by all these natural techniques I have presented above, then you will need to make a financial investment into your sex life. There is a device called Prolong that you should consider purchasing.
Prolong is a device and a six-week program that has been licensed and FDA-cleared to enhance the ‘Start-Stop’ technique without the need for expensive psychotherapy (or even a partner).
It does so through a powerful stimulation of your penis through vibrations.
The only downside is the fact that it costs around $299.00 and is currently shipped only to USA and Canada.
Seek Out Medical Consultation
Guys, if you have already tried each and every technique and advice above without any success, then it may be time to admit the not so pleasant truth – you need a help from a medical professional.
The best way is to ask your doctor for a referral to a urologist.
This is a specialist who can decide whether he can treat your problem or you need someone much more specialized in this field. Just do not underestimate the medical consultation as the inability to control climaxes may be a sign of more severe health complications.
Therefore, you should go and get yourself checked up. A professional examination of your situation by a medical expert will eliminate potential (health-related) causes of your issue and may come up with a specialized remedy to your issue.
Not Recommended Techniques That May Work
Pills & Medication
Did you know that there are some medications that should help you last longer during sex without ejaculating? These are usually anti-depressants, such as dapoxetine that inhibit the serotonin transporters.
If you ingest this active substance 1-3 hours before intercourse, you can increase the time until you ejaculate 3-to-8 fold.
Dapoxetine is marketed under various names, such as Priligy and Westoxetin.
These are available on European as well as some Asian markets. You can find it in Mexico as well, but in the USA it is still in the phase of being approved by the FDA. Some guys use other anti-depressants such as fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline, fluvoxamine, and citalopram off-label for a similar effect.
However, anti-depressants are very potent drugs that have many side-effects on your body and it is simply not worth to use these to delay your orgasms, especially when there are many natural methods that are free.
There are many men who advise alcohol to increase fucking time. From my personal experience, being drunk during sex may work well to delay your ejaculation.
However, I do not recommend it as it has a lot of disadvantages:
- It is hard to find that fine line and not get too drunk
- It leads to a hangover in the morning
- You can not get drunk each time you are going to have sex
- It leads to riskier behavior and unsafe sex (may often result in a pregnancy)
If you really want to enjoy your sex life all the time, then you need to gain control over your ejaculations naturally and without relying on anything else.
Although I have experienced the best sex usually when we were both drunk, I do not recommend it at all as a technique to last longer in bed.
Some guys recommend a “double wrap” – wearing two condoms during sex – to reduce sensations and stimulation you experience. The main idea behind this is to imitate the effect of wearing a thicker condom.
Guys, just never do the double wrap.
My advice is to avoid this altogether and wear a thicker or numbing condom instead as there is a high risk of tearing associated with wearing two condoms at the same time. The friction between both latex layers is much higher than just between yours and her lubricated skin.
Helpful Tips From Reddit Users
“Admittedly, I can recall a few occasions as a late teenager where I’d barely get all the way in before having to pull out and have that whole “damn I just almost busted” moment. What worked for me, is get that “this shit is awesome” thought out of your head. Yes I know how good the pussy feels, but if you focus on that it’s just gonna make the PE worse.”
“Have fun with it, enjoy yourself, but keep your mind a little blank. Just keep getting it on, try new things until you figure out what works and just keep getting it. My wife & I get it on at least every day, and if we have time, multiple times a day. I never beat her to the finish line, and I strongly attribute the endurance I do have now to staying very active sexually, working at finding something that worked for me, and programming myself to where it became subconscious and now I don’t worry about it anymore.”
Quote from a response made by Reddit user BeardlyGrizzlyWrench.
“Breathe. You’ll find yourself holding your breath more than you think. Treat it like an exercise. Focus on your breathing and zoning out a bit. Learn your limit and edge along it.”
“That feeling coming along to quick? Slow down. Hell, stop if you need to. It’s a hard moment to have the clarity to go “stop”… But it’s ok. You don’t have to always be penetrating. You can keep stimulating her while you cool down. You’d be surprised how much teasing can turn on a girl. She doesn’t have to know the reason. Go down on her, finger her, etc. You can smoothly last longer and improve your overall performance at the same time.”
“Change positions! The break of repositioning can give you another temporary focus and buy time.”
“If you’re comfortable with her, communicate! Tell her you want to work on lasting longer. If she tells you she doesn’t care, tell her it’s for both of your enjoyment. As long as she knows your goal, she’ll have fun with trying to extend it.”
Quote from a response made by Reddit user salt-the-skies.
“When you get to my age, you start wishing and hoping you could come faster… Practice. Masturbate. Stop when you get close…aka edging….and then go back at it. Over time, you’ll be lasting longer. But most women don’t want you pounding away at them for an hour every time either… so…”
Quote from a response made by Reddit user trim_reaper.
What To Do In The Meantime?
Regaining control over your ejaculations will always take some time and I know that it is impossible to abstain from sex until you rewire your brain’s reaction to the sexual stimulation.
Luckily, there are a lot of tips, tricks, and techniques you can try out and apply to your sex life immediately to make the whole premature ejaculation experience less embarrassing. You will be surprised by all the stuff you can experiment with tonight.
Extend Your Foreplay
Although there are some people who do not like longer foreplay, these are very rare. A majority of women in anonymized surveys complain that their sexual partners are rushing through it to the actual sex.
See where I am heading?
If you have troubles to last long enough during intercourse (whether it being during penetration or oral) you can just prolong the time you are investing into foreplay (I write investing because she will show you her gratitude later 😉 ).
Women perceive sex as a whole experience (not only the actual penetration as we men do). So, the next time you can try these foreplay tips:
- Tease her while you undress her body
- Give her a sexy and sensual massage
- Kiss her passionately
- Focus on all her erogenous zones
- Pay enough time to her breast and nipples
- Try a soft dirty talk to make her aroused
- Tease her before playing with her pussy
- Get down on her and eat her pussy like a pro
Actually, there are dozens of things you can try and only your imagination is the limit. If you see that she is almost begging you by her body language to “stick it in”, and she is completely wet and on the verge of orgasm, then it is your chance to apply the tips and tricks you have learned above and try to last longer during penetration.
Trust me that if you pay a lot of attention to “her needs”, she will not mind if you cum after just a few thrusts 😉 .
Please do not get me wrong, I know that there are situations when both partners want to “jump on each other” right away and a longer foreplay may be awkward, but mostly, ladies love when you pay attention to them.
Be Proactive & Dominant
If you are worried that you will ejaculate during foreplay if she will take the initiative from you and “repay you the favor” by either oral sex or by jerking you off, then simply do not let her.
Try to be proactive and dominant. The easiest way to keep things under your control is to let her lay on the back during the foreplay with you being on the top.
Also, by the word dominant, I do not mean to hurt her in any way or to force her to do anything she is not comfortable with. It simply means that if you notice she starts to move her hands in the direction of your penis or that she tries to kiss her way down your body, then just lead her away.
You can do this by grabbing her “wandering” hand and putting it above her head while passionately kissing her. You can even try some bondage and bind her hands together if she is into this kind of stuff.
Hoever, the most effective way to keep things under your control is to blindfold her during foreplay. A blinded woman can not anticipate your next move and her other senses will improve.
Go For A Second Round
Have you climaxed too soon in the round #1 and she is still unsatisfied? Just tell her that she looks so great and that her pussy is so tight that you could not hold it in any longer and go down on her.
Once you regain a suitable erection level you can go for the second round.
Usually, men do last longer the next round after they have ejaculated. If you pair this with all those positions and techniques for delaying your orgasm, then I bet she will have a great time with you.
Make Her Come First
Did you know that women who have achieved one orgasm during the foreplay can easily achieve the second one during the vaginal penetration? That is why you should focus your attention on her if you have issues with lasting longer in bed.
The next time you are going to have sex, just make her come either with your hand or your mouth first. Only after that go for vaginal penetration.
Trust me, if you have given her an orgasm during foreplay, she will not mind having a quickie after. Actually, she will love the fact that she does not have to make a lot of effort to make you cum and she can enjoy the pleasure you have given to her.
Be Honest & Come Clean
Until you manage to fix your premature ejaculation issues (and if you have a stable partner) how about coming clean and having an honest and open discussion about it? Trust me that she will have a completely different approach to your sex life.
Just tell her that you have problems to last long during sex with attractive girls and that you want to work on this and fix it. I bet she will be glad to give you “a helping hand” (or maybe even a helping head 😉 ).
Explain her the techniques you are trying to fix your premature ejaculation and that she may actually help you to train your endurance. Do not forget to tell her that you are doing this to please her better – she will love that.
Enjoy The Moment
The last advice I can give you with regards to learning to last longer in bed is to enjoy the moment. If you are having sex and look like a terrified chicken, then you both will have a bad time.
Be happy for the opportunity to have sex (even if it is for just a few minutes) and make the most out of it. Women are very perceptive and they will notice if you are not enjoying the moment.
Try to avoid having an emotionless “robot face” as you are distracted counting your thrusts. In the end, sex should be a fun activity. Always try to have a good time.