Is it actually possible to have friends with benefits? Some people will tell you that almost anything is achievable with the right mindset. Others will claim that sex complicates things, and this is a fact that everyone will have to face sooner or later.
The truth of the matter, guys, is that this type of a relationship isn’t impossible. It is just simply a matter of understanding the rules of the game. You want to go into something like this with both eyes wide open.
Why It Appeals to Us
It’s not hard to understand why the idea of the friends with benefits (also known as FWB) appeals to both men and women alike. What is more, it is not a coincidence that two big Hollywood movies have come out in recent years that illustrates its best and worst points. We tend to focus on the more appealing aspects of this, and there’s no mystery behind that.
However, it is crucial to keep in mind that this type of relationships seek to cut out the emotional roller-coaster aspect of being involved with someone. It doesn’t force you to do all the things you normally have to do while dating with a member of the opposite sex.
To sum it up in the most basic terms FWB means:
- Hanging out
- Having a great time
- Fooling around
- Not making things more complicated than that
What’s not to love about it?
3 Reasons Why Friends with Benefits Agreement Can Fail
1. Emotions
These can still get in the way. FWB can turn into something more serious. If that’s not what you want, then romantic feelings can lead to problems. The last thing you want to have happen is to have the friendship completely destroyed.
This is why some people are hesitant to get involved with someone just for “benefits“. The pitfalls are indeed many.
2. Not So Amazing Sex
And if you are buddies, and it turns out sex wasn’t such a hot idea after all (you may not be compatible), what to do then? Some individuals don’t want to hurt a others feelings, and this can cause a FWB relationship to turn toxic in a hurry.
Then you find yourself with another outcome that can lead to the friendship crumbling. Yes, there is the possibility that it’s not going to work out. Does that mean you shouldn’t even try? Certainly not!
3. Lack of Info
The problem a lot of guys have with this one is that they don’t have enough information prior going into the arrangement.
The more you know about what to do, stuff to avoid and how to get the most out of one of these agreements, the better your chances are of having something pretty amazing with the lady of your choice.
Sharing Expectations
For your interest: Here is my awesome review of online program that will teach you several special techniques for making girls scream from pleasure.
Friends with benefits need a strong foundation to succeed and thrive. The best way to create one is to go into it with the same expectations as your partner. Talk to the woman you want to pursue this with. Discuss things like:
- What you want the relationship to be?
- What is going to be expected of each person?
- What should be done in the event that things take an unexpected and undesired turn?
Extra advice: Both of you need to agree that this is based on a physical basis and nothing more.
Establishing Rules Together
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj3d7yNqgGg
Something about a FWB agreement that you need to understand is that different pairings can have other needs, demands, and ideas about things like hard limits and boundaries. Another part of your conversation with your potential partner should involve setting up these boundaries.
What you want to do is eliminate the likelihood for misunderstandings later on. The arrangement you come up with should keep things like schedules and needs in mind. Some of the questions you might want to broach can include:
- How often do you want to get together?
- Is hanging out okay before sex? And after?
- Can there be occasions when you just hang out as friends?
- Is spending the night acceptable?
These are some of the questions you need to discuss. The answers to these questions can make things much more straightforward later on.
By the way: Here are some great positions for you to try out next time you have sex.
Are You Going to Keep Your Options Open?
This is something else you’re going to want to discuss with your potential hookup partner. Both of you need to have a clear understanding of two things:
- Is it going to be acceptable for both of you to pursue a more serious relationship with someone else, should such an opportunity present itself?
- Will it be okay for both of you to seek out and maintain additional FWB opportunity?
Agreeing to both of these things can keep everyone’s options open, and potentially prevent one of you from becoming too reliant upon the other.
My advice: Complete honesty and communication are essential in these regards!
Don’t Overdo It
Stay Emotionally Free
A successful FWB relationship means you never get into the area of emotional attachment.
One of the best ways to go about doing this is to set limits on how often you see each other in a given week.
While you want to be sensitive to each other’s schedules with school and/or work, what you do not want to do is set aside a specific day each week for your FWB.
No Planning
Another thing to avoid is planning something several days in advance. One of the things you’re celebrating with this is a love of the unexpected.
If you think he or she might be free that night, then give them a call, and see what they’re up to. What you don’t want to do is call or text them to get together in three or four days time.
[These are shocking! Top 12 Mistakes Men Make in Bed (And How to Avoid Them)]
That’s going to kill that nice element of spontaneity pretty quickly, and that can open the door to the kind of problems you were trying to evade in the first place.
5 Great Tips for a Healthy FWB Relationship
If you’re serious about having your friends with benefits journey succeed, here are a few other things you should remember and focus on:
1. Like That Person
The individual you are planning to enter into this arrangement with should be someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with. Sex is great, and really good chemistry can often come down to somebody who’s awesome to hang out with in a non-physical way.
Word of advice: You are not looking for love, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look for person you like going out with!
2. No Best Friends At All
Avoid trying this with best pals. A casual-but-strong friendship can be ideal for a FWB situation, but it is almost always trouble to try it with guy or girl you would consider to be one of your closest buddies.
Most of these arrangements also come with the understanding that it’s going to end eventually. Transitioning back to a non-physical relationship can be tricky in many cases.
Keep in mind: With someone you consider to be a best buddy this can prove to be almost impossible!
3. No Prioritizing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLr7RiM7am0
[Do you have these? 8 Qualities of an Attractive Alpha Male That Will Get Her]
Respect is one thing, but prioritizing is another matter altogether. Taking into mind your partner’s needs and feelings is fine, but prioritizing those the way you would your girlfriend is something to avoid at all costs!
4. Communicate
Don’t keep things to yourself. If you find yourself unhappy with some aspect of the agreement, or if you’re beginning to realize that the FWB situation has run its course (and if it doesn’t seem as though the other person is feeling this way), then you need to communicate.
This sounds like something you would have to do in a romantic relationship, but remember that honesty and communication are essential. This is certainly true of a friend you are planning to sleep with on a semi-regular basis.
5. Keep Your Own Space
A little space might be necessary. It’s probable that you’re going to want to remain buddies after the FWB agreement has come to an end.
This might mean that either of you will need a little time to adjust. This is particularly important for situations in which someone has found somebody for a more serious relationship.
[Do you know these? 10 Effective Ways to Get a Girl to Like You]
When FWB agreement has come to an end, talk about whether or not some space is required. If your partner feel this need as necessary, but you don’t, respect her/his decision.
Last Words
The friends with benefits is not just movie fiction. It has worked for men and women so far, and it can certainly do so for you, as well. Keep in mind all of the tips and tricks mentioned above, and you should avoid a lot of the problems people run into.
If you both know what you’re getting into, then you can look forward to loads of amazing, orgasmic sex with someone whose company you genuinely enjoy. And when it’s over, no one’s feelings are going to be hurt.
