Any single guy will tell you that picking up women is never easy. A smart line may get her attention, but those are far and few between. Some guys have better luck just saying “hi” and introducing themselves.

The key to approaching a woman has nothing to do with being clever or even persuadable. The key is to be amusing.

That’s exactly where these 189+ funny pick-up lines come in. Not only will they impress her, but they will also get her interested in you too.

Dirty & Funny Pick Up Lines

Choose One From Examples Below

1. “Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room.”

2. “Are you from Japan? Cause I’m tryna get in Ja-panties.”

3. “I know where they give out free drinks. [Girl: Where?] My House!”

4. “Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants!”

5. “Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.”

6. “Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.”

7. “So, did you hear the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship? [No.] Well then, let’s go to my place and I’ll tell you all about it.”

8. “With a great penis, comes great responsibility.”

9. “Tickle your pussy with a feather? [Girl: What?] I said, Particularly nice weather.”

10. “What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.”

11. “Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?”

12. “Want to play lion? [What’s that?] That’s where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat!”

13. “What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”

14. “What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”

15. “This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.”

16. “Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.”

17. “So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it, I swear I’ll give you a full refund.”

18. “Can you please tell me how my cum tastes?”

19. “My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!”

20. “Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.”

21. “I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race, and my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?”

22. “I only have 12 hours to live… please don’t let me die a virgin.”

23. “If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.”

24. “Hey, so you want to see some magic? You and I will go to your place have sex, and I’ll disappear in the morning.”

25. “Hey Baby, you want to come to my house and work on your math skills? We can add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply!”

26. “F**k me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?”

27. “F**k me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don’t you?”

28. “F**k me if I’m wrong but isn’t your name Gretchen?.”

29. “F**k me if I’m wrong, but don’t you want to kiss me?”

30. “Could I touch your belly button…from the inside?”

Funny Pick Up Lines To Seduce Her

Choose One From Examples Below

1. “You’d be so much cuter if you had my money. [Whatever she replies] Sorry I don’t date gold diggers!”

2. “I just wanna let you know how beautiful you are and was wondering if you could buy me a drink?”

3. “Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”

4. “You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.”

5. “Please tell your tits to stop looking at my eyes.”

6. “I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you. [Kiss her] Oh… seems like I lost the bet.”

7. “Love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl’s destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?”

8. “Kissing is a language of love….so how about a conversation?”

9. “Let’s make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look!”

10. “I’ve been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look?”

11. “If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?”

12. “Hi, I’m gay. Do you think you can convert me?”

13. “I have a rare disease that will kill me unless I have sex within the next 30 minutes. Don’t let me die!”

14. “Would you sleep with me for 20 million dollars? [She sheepishly: Yes.] Well then, would you sleep with me for 20 cents? [No, what kind of woman do you think I am?] We’ve established what kind of woman that you are, we’re just haggling over the price.”

15. “Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.”

16. “I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.”

17. [Approach a group of women] “I’m gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who’s first?”

18. [Hold out hand] “Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?”

19. “Excuse me, I’m a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?”

20. “Nice hair, wanna mess it up?”

21. “Excuse me; I’ve seem to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?”

22. “Do you have a name or can I call you mine?”

23. “Hey. My friends wanted me to come over here and ask you if they were fake. Can I squeeze them to find out?”

24. “If I washed my dick, would you suck it? [No.] Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks?”

25. “Do you believe guys think with their dick? [Yeah.] Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?”

26. “Excuse me; I just shit my pants. Can I get in yours?”

27. “Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend.”

28. “Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand prize is a night with me!”

29. “Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?”

30. “Believe it or not, gettin’ laid is still hard when you’re this good-looking.”

Cheesy & Funny Pick Up Lines

Choose One From Examples Below

1. “You know what material this is? [Grab your shirt] Boyfriend material.”

2. “What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be a beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!”

3. “Somebody call the cops because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!”

4. “I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.”

5. “Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.”

6. “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”

7. “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”

8. “Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?”

9. “Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!”

10. [Look at her shirt label.] “When they say, “What are you doing?” You respond: “Yep! Made in heaven!””

11. “Are you religious? Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.”

12. “You look exactly like my future ex-wife.”

13. “Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only ten I see!”

14. “Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?”

15. “It’s a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle.”

16. “Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.”

17. “What size shoe you wear baby girl? I’m gonna guess size sexy!”

18. “I’m the kind of man who deserves to have women I don’t deserve.”

19. “Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!”

20. “Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?”

21. “Say “I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you.” and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.”

22. “Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.”

23. “Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?”

24. “You’re so hot you must’ve started global warming.”

25. “Damn girl, if you were a fruit, you’d be an FINEapple!”

26. “Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?”

27. “If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous.”

28. “I must be in heaven because I’m looking at an angel!”

29. “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?”

30. “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

Nerdy & Geeky Pick Up Lines

Choose One From Examples Below

1. “If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!”

2. “Damn Girl is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection!”

3. “You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.”

4. “Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive!”

5. “Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

6. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘I’ and ‘U’ together.”

7. “If you were a triangle you’d be acute one.”

8. “Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful.”

9. “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.”

10. “Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by.”

11. “My love for you is like dividing by zero– it cannot be defined.”

12. “Chemists do it on the table periodically.”

13. “Forget hydrogen; you’re my number one element.”

14. “You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I together.”

15. “Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.”

16. “You must be the acid to my litmus paper because every time I meet you I turn bright red.”

17. “According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.”

18. “You must be related to Tesla because you’re electrifying.”

19. “You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you’re a total BaBe.”

20. “Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you.”

21. “You must be a star; I can’t stop orbiting around you.”

22. “You and I would undergo a more energetic reaction than Potassium and water.”

23. “We have such great chemistry that we should do some biology together.”

24. “You’re like a dictionary; you add meaning to my life.”

25. “You’re lookin’ sharp, so let’s go back to my flat and get natural.”

26. “I’m definitely in the range of your hotspot. How about you let me connect and get full access.”

27. “Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy.”

28. “I’m not skinny; I’m ribbed for her pleasure.”

29. “If you were a booger I’d pick you first.”

30. “If you were my homework I’d do you all over my desk.”

Bonus Lines To Make Her Smile

Choose One From Examples Below

1. “Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!”

2. “My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can’t hold it in.”

3. “If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.”

4. “Do you buy your pants on sale? Because at my house, they would be 100% off.”

5. “Are you a vampire? Cause you looked a little thirsty when you looked at me.”

6. “What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”

7. “WAIT, don’t drink that. Don’t you know that makes your chest grow to twice its normal size? Oh, I’m sorry. I guess it’s too late.”

8. “I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

9. “I am participating in the Sexual Olympics – multiple orgasm relay race. My partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?

10. “Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand prize is a night with me!”

11. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!”

12. “On my last date, we played strip poker. We stripped, and I poked her.”

13. “Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.”

14. “You look much more attractive in person than you do through my telescope.”

15. “We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.”

16. “I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.”

17. “So we’re friends now, when do the benefits kick in?”

18. “Are you a pirate? [No!] Then where did you get all that booty?”

19. “If you’re feeling down, can I feel you up?”

20. “On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9…… And I’m the 1 you need.”

21. “I’m not staring at your boobs; I’m staring at your heart.”

22. “Your belly button is in the wrong place! It should be on top on mine!”

23. “Hey Baby, I just paid off this mustache, want to take it for a ride?”

24. “Hey, can I follow you home? [What?] Oh sorry, my parents just told me to follow my dreams.”

25. “Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me.”

26. “I’d like to point out that “beautiful” has U in it. But, ‘quickie’ has U & I together.”

27. “Gurl, I’d fake blindness just to touch you inappropriately.”

28. “Hi, I’m going to have to ask you to leave! [Why?] The sign says NO SMOKING….and you are definitely SMOKIN!”

29. “How about you and I go into that darkroom over there and see what develops.”

30. “You must be a banana because I find you a peeling.”

31. “I know hello in 6 different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow?”

32. “Hi, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?”

33. “Are you an angel? Cause I’m allergic to feathers.” [Fake sneeze.]

34. “Is your dad a military general? Because when you walked by, my privates snapped to attention.”

35. “I think it is the time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice Ass!”

36. “Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.”

37. “Roses are Red, Violets are Plants, what are you wearing, under your pants.”

38. “If you were a transformer. You’d be a hot-o-bot, and you’d be called Optimus Fine!”

39. “I find your lack of nudity disturbing.”

40. “Your name must be Coca Cola because you’re so-da-licious.”

41. “Do you know Karate? Cause I don’t want you to kick me when I grab your ass.”

42. “Hey did you drop something? [Ummm What?] Your standards, Hi I’m [Say your name].”

43. “Do you like pirates? Cause I got a lot of seamen that wanna meet ya. Yaharrrr”

44. “You are almost as hot as my mom.”

45. “Hey, my name’s [insert your name here] and I can disappoint you in ways you’ve never imagined.”

46. “Would you like to go out? [I’m in a relationship.] Let’s talk about how we can get you out of that.”

47. “If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you.”

48. “I just wanna let you know how beautiful you are and was wondering if you could buy me a drink?”

49. “If I’m a pain in your ass, then we can just add more lubricant.”

50. “How much does it cost to date you? Cause damn, you look expensive!”

51. “One, two, three, four, I declare a tongue war.”

52. “I know where they give out free drinks. [Where?] My House!”

54. “You are so sweet; you’re giving me a toothache.”

55. “Do you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

56. “Are you lost, sweetheart? Heaven is a long way from here.”

57. “Something is wrong with my cell phone. Your number isn’t in it.”

58. “Excuse me, but I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.”

59. “Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.”

60. “If you were a McDonald’s hamburger, you would be McGorgeous!”

61. “No wonder why the sky is gray today. All of the blue is in your eyes.”

62. “Kiss me if you think I’m mistaken, but dinosaurs still exist – right?”

63. “If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d only have 5 cents.”

64. “If I had a star for every single time you made me smile, I would have an entire galaxy in the palm of my hand.”

65. “Do you happen to have a map? I seem to have gotten lost in your eyes.”

66. “You are so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line.”

67. “I know what you are thinking, and you’re entirely wrong. You do stand a chance with me.”

68. “Can I borrow your phone? I just want to call your mom and thank her.”

69. “How much does a polar bear weight? Just enough to break the ice.”

70. “Here I am. What are your other two wishes?”

71. “Nice shoes! Want to make your parents proud?”

72. “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.”

73. “Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? I hurt my leg when I fell for you.”