80+ Dirty Pick Up Lines That Might Get You in Trouble


best dirty pick up lines

REMEMBER: These Pick Up Lines Are Really EFFECTIVE. They May Cause POWERFUL Reaction! Do Not ABUSE Them! These Tips Helped Over 182,000 Readers!

There are various sayings to pick up chicks that can be sweet, cheesy or downright kinky! Some dirty lines can actually get her to go home with you while others are just a funny (yet flirty) way to open up a conversation.

20 Kinky Pick Up Lines

1. “I’m really not a dick in real life, but I can play one in you tonight.”
2. “Screw me if I’m wrong but haven’t we met before?”
3. “I’m an astronaut. My next mission is exploring Uranus.” [Uranus = your anus]
4. “I know a really great way to burn off calories in that drink.”
5. “Why don’t you get on your knees and smile like a donut?”
6. “How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached or fertilized?”
7. “If you jingle my bells, I can promise you a white Christmas.”
8. “There’s a party at your ankles. Should we invite your pants to come on down?”
9. “You have a great set of legs. What time do they open?”
10. “Remember my name. You’ll be screaming it later.”
11. “That dress is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I would be becoming too.”
12. “Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let’s go to my room and put our pieces together.”
13. “Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?”
14. “I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.”
15. “I’m just like a Rubik’s cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.”
16. “Do you, by any chance, have any Italian in you? Would you like some?” [use any ethnicity you want]
17. “Let’s play carpenter. Let’s get hammered first, and then I’ll nail you.”
18. “Let’s play strip poker. You strip, and I’ll poke you.”
19. “You’ve been very naughty. Go to my room!”
20. “I’m peanut butter, and you’re jelly. Let’s have sex.”

20 Extra Vulgar Pick Up Lines You Asked for!

vulgar lines to use

21. “Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.”
22. “Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.”
23. “I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a slut instead!”
24. “I would tell you a joke about my p*nis… but it is too long” 🙂
25. “We should totally meet up for a pizza and f*ck. (No!) What, you don’t like pizza?”
26. “Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!”
27. “My cat’s dead, can I play with your pussy instead?”
28. “Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” Watch her smile!”
29. “Hey there, I just took some Cialis, and I have 18 hours left.”
30. “First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.”
31. “Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!”
32. “You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.”
33. “Do you work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.”
34. “Hello girl, I am a bisexual. I´d like to buy you a drink … and then get sexual.”
35. “Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!”
36. “Hey, do you have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!”
37. “There are eight planets in the universe, but only seven after I destroy Uranus.”
38. “I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my d*ck disappear.”
39. “I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!”
40. “I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!”

20 More Naughty Lines to Make Her Say WOW!

extra naughty pick up lines

41. “Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.”
42. “I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest.”
43. “Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say “Are you gonna eat that?”
44. “You know why I am like a squirrel? Cause I want to bury my nuts in you.”
45. “I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time you’re around my dick swells up.”
46. “I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.”
47. “Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses, one leg over each ear.”
48. “You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.”
49. “Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.”
50. “You’re like my little toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.”
51. “Those boobs look very heavy… can I hold them for you?”
52. “You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.”
53. “Do you like chocolate, cause you’re gonna choke a lot on this dick.”
54. “You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.”
55. “Do you like warm weather? Cause I’m gonna put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not.”
56. “Yeah, it’s big, and if you pet it, it spits.”
57. “Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!”
58. “You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?”
59. “Let’s play house…you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!”
60. “I can touch your belly button . . . from the inside?”

Last 20 Lines for Ultimate Dirtiness!

ultimate dirtiness pick up lines

61. “I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!”
62. “You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.”
63. “Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.”
64. “Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.”
65. “My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string.”
66. “The Trojans loved Helen so much they jumped into a horse, I love u so much I wanna jump into a Trojan.”
67. “Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?”
68. “Oh, you’re on your period? That’s okay; pirates aren’t afraid to sail the Red Sea.”
69. “Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore….my face should be among them.”
70. “My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…”
71. “My dick is like catnip; it’ll make a cougar like you go wild.”
72. (Use index finger to call someone over then say) “I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.”
73. “My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?”
74. “The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.”
75. “Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place.”
76. “Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.”
77. “You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I’m 5.”
78. “Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.”
79. “Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let’s begin.”
80. “What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”
Make sure you read next: 20 Funny Pick Up Lines That Get Her Attention and hugely popular 30+ AWESOMELY Cute Pick Up Lines


Hey folks! I am James (a.k.a. Stallion) and I want to make this THE GREATEST place for every guy to master the arts of love, dating and attraction! I am young, free and my motto is "Carpe Diem".


  1. “Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?” is really a great one! It made me chuckle and if the right guy said it, he might just get lucky ;). I guess it’s all about the way he says it and the way he looks as well (he has to look good otherwise I won’t even look at him).

  2. The 7 one in your list is one that I use a lot when I
    meet women in dresses or skirts. It’s decently effective, although I got a few
    slaps because of it. Some women can’t take a dirty joke or are afraid to admit
    that these are actually a bit funny and need to slap me just to prove they hate

  3. You’d better not open with the one with the party at your
    ankles or you can really get a beating from some chicks J! I’ve done this mistake and
    got a series of slaps and a drink up my pants, so be careful! But, if she’s
    already into you, this works great. Be sure that she really wants to go home
    with you and then you can throw this line in there.

  4. I tried “Excuse
    me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?” and the first reaction I get is
    that she really thinks I am serious. It usually takes a girl a few seconds
    before she realizes I am kidding. Most laugh ironically and some even end up
    sleeping with me just because of this little, stupid line.

  5. You can get away with most of these pick up lines if you
    meet the right girl. She needs to be funny and a little crazy (which most girls
    are anyway). For me, the one about Uranus is a killer J))! Love it and there was
    actually a guy that said this to me once. Did he get lucky? I will never tell…

  6. As soon as I see a girl with a glass in her hand I try to
    use a pickup line like number 4. This works well (in about 50%+ of the cases)
    which is really awesome. I try to be friendly and not be a jerk when I say
    things like this because that turns women off faster than you can say “Play ball!”.

  7. Hahaha, the one with the white Christmas was funny as hell! Didn’t know that one actually (how did I miss it?)! I like it when I guy is ballsy and tries these kinds of half dirty half funny lines on me. Depending on the situation, I might be into him. I don’t get upset for these sort of lines but some girls make a big fuss about them.

  8. 12 works on almost any girl because it’s not downright dirty like other pickup lines and some girls will wonder what you mean when you say “Do you like jigsaw puzzles?” so leave a little spacing between this first phrase and the second. At least 5 seconds will do. Just do it and you will thank me later.

  9. “I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.” makes me wet because he is trying to please me and thinks of me first! I’ve had a guy use this and he got it really good that night! He was a looker so that helped ;)! I also like the next one with the Rubik’s cube. It’s witty, fun and just dirty enough to work on me.

  10. “That dress is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I would be becoming too.” brought me a wild night of sex! I had already talked to her for about 10 minutes and I could feel it was the right moment for a line like this and apparently she was ready for it! What a night that was!