191+ Dirty Pick Up Lines That Might Get You in Trouble

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young guy telling dirty pick up line

REMEMBER: These Pick Up Lines Are Really EFFECTIVE. They May Cause POWERFUL Reaction! Do Not ABUSE Them! These Tips Helped Over 182,000 Readers!

There are various things you can say to pick up chicks. These can be sweet, cheesy or even funny. Some guys feel a little more courageous and dare to use lines that are really dirty!

Oftentimes, using kinky pickup lines is just a funny (yet flirty) way to open up a conversation.

However, some these 191+ dirty pick-up lines may actually get her to go home with you while others are too vulgar and you may receive a slap across your face.

Dirty Pick Up Lines to Make Her Smile

smile dirty pickup line

“I heard you are looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD, all I need is U.”
“I’m Asian, so I’ll eat your cat.”
“Is there a cell phone in your back-pocket? Cause that ass is calling me!”
“You work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.”
“I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.”
“Smile, if you want to have sex with me.”
“I`m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.”
“You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.”
“Do you want to have good sex? [No!] Well then come to my place!”
“You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.”

dirty line to pick her up

“You remind me of my cousin. [Girl: How?] I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.”
“You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.”
“Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” Watch her smile!”
“What’s the speed limit of sex? [Girl: What?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!”
“Will you marry me for just one night?”
“Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face, and I guess how much you weigh.”
“People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!”
“Roses are black; violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?”
“Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.”
“My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.”
“Miss, If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?”
“Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, “Fuck it”.”
“I’ve got skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?”
“I’m not trying to pressure you. I don’t want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.”
“I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.”

panties pickup line

“Is you father a lumberjack [Girl: No, why?] Because whenever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.”
“Are you from Japan because I’d like to get in japanties.”
“Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.”
“Damn baby, are you my new boss? Cause you just gave me a raise.”
“That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”
“What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”
“You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.”
“You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life, and I just want it for one night.”
“I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!”
“My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can’t hold it in.”
“Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.”
“Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.”
“Oh, you like sleeping?….Me too! We should do it together sometime!”
“Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?”
“Let’s go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.”
funny guy telling pick up lines

189+ Funny Pick Up Lines to Make Her Smile

REMEMBER: These Pick Up Lines Are Really EFFECTIVE. They May Cause POWERFUL Reaction! Do Not ABUSE Them! These Tips Helped Over 50,700 Readers! 189+ AWESOME Lines Below! Any single guy...

Dirty Pick Up Lines to Tease Her

pants on ground

“Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.”
“I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!”
“Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”
“You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.”
“Did you get those pants at 50% off? Cause they are 100% off at my place!”
“You’re like my little toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.”
“You’re on my list of things to do tonight.”
“You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?”
“I’m jealous of your dress. [Girl: Why?] Because it’s touching your body, and I’m not.”
“You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.”
“You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.”
“Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.”
“Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?”
“What time do you get off? Can I watch?”
“What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.”

dirty pick up line to make her horny

“Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?”
“Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.”
“What do I have to do to be your booty call?”
“That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!”
“So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?”
“That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.”
“That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.”
“Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.”
“My place… Eight o’clock… Bring a friend.”
“My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.”
“Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?”
“My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.”
“May I pleasure you with my tongue?”
“Let me eat you for an hour. If you don’t want to have sex after that, we won’t.”
“Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.”
man picking up woman

191+ Cheesy & Corny Pick Up Lines for Guys

REMEMBER: These Pick-Up Lines Are Really EFFECTIVE. They May Cause POWERFUL Reaction! Do Not ABUSE Them! These Tips Helped Over 10,000 Readers! The importance of good pick up...

Vulgar & Raunchy Pick-Up Lines

uranus pickup line

“Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!”
“I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy.”
“Call me leaves, cause you should be blowing me.”
“There are eight planets in the universe, but only seven after I destroy Uranus.”
“I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!”
“You know why I am like a squirrel? Cause I want to bury my nuts in you.”
“You know what I like in a girl? [Girl: What?] My dick.”
“You should join the circus. [Girl: Why?] So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.”
“You have pretty eyeballs. Of course, they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.”
“You know how your hair would look really good? [Girl: No.] In my lap.”

bunnies pick up line

“What are you doing tonight besides me?”
“Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.”
“Want to taste my dick? [Girl: What!?!] I said: Do you want to taste my drink?”
“Wanna fuck like bunnies?”
“Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow, and we’ll see how high you can make me.”
“The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.”
“The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.”
“We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.”
“We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.”
“Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.”
“Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let’s begin.”
“So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?”
“Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?”
“Sex is a killer … want to die happy?”
“My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?”

dirty line to pick her up tonight

“My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?”
“Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?”
“My friend and I made a bet, and I need to check if those are implants.”
“Let’s play “Titanic.” When I say “Iceberg!” you do down.”
“Let’s bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.”
“Let’s go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.”
“It sure is hot and stuffy in here. Would you like to take a cold shower?”
“I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?”
“I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?”
“I’m the doctor of love baby, and you’re over due for your meat injection!”
“I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.”
“I’m not an expert in hardware, but I know that you’d be able to screw my nuts off.”
“I’m either going home with you or behind you, take your pick.”
“I’m conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first.”
“I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!”
nerdy man

219+ Nerdy & Geeky Pick Up Lines to Blow Her Mind

There are many popular pick-up lines that guys use on hot chicks. However, if you want to be unique, then I highly recommend you...

20 More Kinky Pick Up Lines

sensual woman on bed in pleasure

1. “I’m really not a dick in real life, but I can play one in you tonight.”
2. “Screw me if I’m wrong but haven’t we met before?”
3. “I’m an astronaut. My next mission is exploring Uranus.” [Uranus = your anus]
4. “I know a really great way to burn off calories in that drink.”
5. “Why don’t you get on your knees and smile like a donut?”
6. “How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached or fertilized?”
7. “If you jingle my bells, I can promise you a white Christmas.”
8. “There’s a party at your ankles. Should we invite your pants to come on down?”
9. “You have a great set of legs. What time do they open?”
10. “Remember my name. You’ll be screaming it later.”
11. “That dress is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I would be becoming too.”
12. “Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let’s go to my room and put our pieces together.”
13. “Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?”
14. “I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.”
15. “I’m just like a Rubik’s cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.”
16. “Do you, by any chance, have any Italian in you? Would you like some?” [use any ethnicity you want]
17. “Let’s play carpenter. Let’s get hammered first, and then I’ll nail you.”
18. “Let’s play strip poker. You strip, and I’ll poke you.”
19. “You’ve been very naughty. Go to my room!”
20. “I’m peanut butter, and you’re jelly. Let’s have sex.”
cute couple flirting

210+ AWESOMELY Cute Pick Up Lines

REMEMBER: These Pick Up Lines Are Really EFFECTIVE. They May Cause POWERFUL Reaction! Do Not ABUSE Them! If you’re trying to pick up a girl, feeding her...

20 Extra Vulgar Pick Up Lines You Asked for!

vulgar lines to use

21. “Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.”
22. “Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.”
23. “I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a slut instead!”
24. “I would tell you a joke about my p*nis… but it is too long” 🙂
25. “We should totally meet up for a pizza and f*ck. (No!) What, you don’t like pizza?”
26. “Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!”
27. “My cat’s dead, can I play with your pussy instead?”
28. “Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” Watch her smile!”
29. “Hey there, I just took some Cialis, and I have 18 hours left.”
30. “First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.”
31. “Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!”
32. “You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.”
33. “Do you work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.”
34. “Hello girl, I am a bisexual. I´d like to buy you a drink … and then get sexual.”
35. “Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!”
36. “Hey, do you have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!”
37. “There are eight planets in the universe, but only seven after I destroy Uranus.”
38. “I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my d*ck disappear.”
39. “I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!”
40. “I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!”
man picking up girl in bar

Picking Up Girls in Bars Is Easier with These 7 Tips

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20 More Naughty Lines to Make Her Say WOW!

extra naughty pick up lines

41. “Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.”
42. “I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest.”
43. “Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say “Are you gonna eat that?”
44. “You know why I am like a squirrel? Cause I want to bury my nuts in you.”
45. “I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time you’re around my dick swells up.”
46. “I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.”
47. “Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses, one leg over each ear.”
48. “You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.”
49. “Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.”
50. “You’re like my little toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.”
51. “Those boobs look very heavy… can I hold them for you?”
52. “You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.”
53. “Do you like chocolate, cause you’re gonna choke a lot on this dick.”
54. “You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.”
55. “Do you like warm weather? Cause I’m gonna put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not.”
56. “Yeah, it’s big, and if you pet it, it spits.”
57. “Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!”
58. “You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?”
59. “Let’s play house…you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!”
60. “I can touch your belly button . . . from the inside?”
gorgeous impressed girl

Learn How to Impress a Girl With 10 Simple Tips

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Last 20 Lines for Ultimate Dirtiness!

ultimate dirtiness pick up lines

61. “I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!”
62. “You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.”
63. “Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.”
64. “Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.”
65. “My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string.”
66. “The Trojans loved Helen so much they jumped into a horse, I love u so much I wanna jump into a Trojan.”
67. “Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?”
68. “Oh, you’re on your period? That’s okay; pirates aren’t afraid to sail the Red Sea.”
69. “Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore….my face should be among them.”
70. “My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…”
71. “My dick is like catnip; it’ll make a cougar like you go wild.”
72. (Use index finger to call someone over then say) “I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.”
73. “My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?”
74. “The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.”
75. “Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place.”
76. “Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.”
77. “You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I’m 5.”
78. “Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.”
79. “Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let’s begin.”
80. “What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”
couple talking and drinking coffee

271+ Really Interesting Questions to Ask a Girl You Like

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Hey folks! My pen name is James Buzinko (a.k.a. Stallion) and I want to make this THE GREATEST place for every guy to master the arts of love, dating and attraction! I am young, free and my motto is "Carpe Diem".
  • Gabriella

    “Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?” is really a great one! It made me chuckle and if the right guy said it, he might just get lucky ;). I guess it’s all about the way he says it and the way he looks as well (he has to look good otherwise I won’t even look at him).

    • Hey, this one is really hilarious. It always makes me smile 😀

  • Austin

    The 7 one in your list is one that I use a lot when I
    meet women in dresses or skirts. It’s decently effective, although I got a few
    slaps because of it. Some women can’t take a dirty joke or are afraid to admit
    that these are actually a bit funny and need to slap me just to prove they hate
    it.

    • Well, if you are trying these a lot you will inevitably find some chicks who slap guys. Although deep inside they love these dirty pick up lines as well.

  • Justin

    You’d better not open with the one with the party at your
    ankles or you can really get a beating from some chicks J! I’ve done this mistake and
    got a series of slaps and a drink up my pants, so be careful! But, if she’s
    already into you, this works great. Be sure that she really wants to go home
    with you and then you can throw this line in there.

    • Sure guys. You always need to use these in proper situations and moments if you want to have success. Otherwise, be prepared for some beating 😀

  • Adrian

    I tried “Excuse
    me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?” and the first reaction I get is
    that she really thinks I am serious. It usually takes a girl a few seconds
    before she realizes I am kidding. Most laugh ironically and some even end up
    sleeping with me just because of this little, stupid line.

    • Hey that is really great you had success with this one. I think it is my second or third most favorable line.

  • Sarah

    You can get away with most of these pick up lines if you
    meet the right girl. She needs to be funny and a little crazy (which most girls
    are anyway). For me, the one about Uranus is a killer J))! Love it and there was
    actually a guy that said this to me once. Did he get lucky? I will never tell…

    • Hey Sarah your words are truthful. If you meet the right chick then these are great. By the way maybe you could share even the ending of that story 🙂

  • Hunter

    As soon as I see a girl with a glass in her hand I try to
    use a pickup line like number 4. This works well (in about 50%+ of the cases)
    which is really awesome. I try to be friendly and not be a jerk when I say
    things like this because that turns women off faster than you can say “Play ball!”.

    • I wish you a lot of luck and hot chicks that will love your lines. Maybe you can stop by and share with us your experience from the “field”.

  • Kaylee

    Hahaha, the one with the white Christmas was funny as hell! Didn’t know that one actually (how did I miss it?)! I like it when I guy is ballsy and tries these kinds of half dirty half funny lines on me. Depending on the situation, I might be into him. I don’t get upset for these sort of lines but some girls make a big fuss about them.

    • That is right attitude you have Kaylee. I bet a lot of guys love telling you these lines as not every chick will like it.

  • Cameron

    12 works on almost any girl because it’s not downright dirty like other pickup lines and some girls will wonder what you mean when you say “Do you like jigsaw puzzles?” so leave a little spacing between this first phrase and the second. At least 5 seconds will do. Just do it and you will thank me later.

    • Nice addition to this list of lines Cameron. Thanks a lot!

  • Anna

    “I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.” makes me wet because he is trying to please me and thinks of me first! I’ve had a guy use this and he got it really good that night! He was a looker so that helped ;)! I also like the next one with the Rubik’s cube. It’s witty, fun and just dirty enough to work on me.

    • Thanks for your feedback Anna. I am glad you like some of these.

  • Wyatt

    “That dress is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I would be becoming too.” brought me a wild night of sex! I had already talked to her for about 10 minutes and I could feel it was the right moment for a line like this and apparently she was ready for it! What a night that was!

    • Ahhh how I love to hear and read all your feedback from your life. It is so funny and motivating at the same time.